The 5 Step Proven Process to Pain Free Sex 

If you're tired of hearing "just relax" when sex still hurts — this is for you. This healing process for painful sex actually shows you how to overcome vaginismus.

Painful sex isn't solved by willpower, wine, or wishing. It's solved by a proven process that addresses both your body and nervous system so you can finally feel safe, open, and connected during intimacy. You need real, effective treatment for your pain during sex!

This blog walks you through the exact 5-step method we teach inside our online coaching program — and the same process we've used to help over 250 women experience pain-free sex and lasting intimacy. 

Want to learn it in depth? You can watch the full webinar in my free course: The 5 Step Process to Pain-Free Sex.

Here's the 5 step vaginismus healing process:

Step 1: Awareness + Nervous System Retraining
The first step is understanding why your body is guarding. Vaginismus is a condition involving both physical symptoms (like pelvic floor tightness and pain) with generally — fear responses that are rooted in your nervous system. That means we can't skip over the emotional history or traumas (big or small) that shaped your body's current response.

We help you reconnect to your body with somatic tools like breath work, body scans, biofeedback, vocalizations and visualization. This step is about safety — not speed. Once your nervous system feels safe, your body no longer feels the need to clench or protect.

Step 2: Pelvic Floor Muscle Screening
You'll learn how to identify patterns of pelvic pain, tightness, poor coordination, and weakness. Most women with vaginismus have never had a proper screen or self-assessment — we walk you through it step by step. This helps you understand what's actually happening inside your body, so you can address it with precision and confidence.

Step 3: Dilation + Pelvic Floor Muscle Release
This is the step that makes sex possible and pain free. You'll learn how to release deep muscular tension using vaginal dilators and pelvic wands — without forcing, flinching, or pushing through pain. Done correctly, this step builds trust and space in your body. You'll feel your muscles relax and your confidence rise. It's where the breakthrough begins. We help you finish your entire dilator set without you leaving home.

This step is in red on purpose. This is where it gets hot, hard, and easy to give up. This is where you may lack training, support, or strategy on how to move through the pain and severe pelvic floor muscle tightness. This is where our virtual vaginismus therapy truly shines for you right at your home. You learn real, hands on techniques and interventions to solve your pain and not avoid it. This is likely something you have never learned before.

Step 4: Confidence Coaching
Even if your body is ready, your mind might still panic. This is where confidence coaching comes in. We help you rewire the beliefs that say "this will hurt" or "my body is broken." You'll learn tools to ground yourself during intimacy so you don't freeze, practice in several different sex positions, and learn techniques for feeling relaxed during sex with your partner. Confidence coaching is often the missing piece that makes the final shift possible. You absolutely deserve to have sex without pain but it gets even better when you feel bold and confident during intimacy!

Step 5: Transition to Sex
By this point, your body is open, your muscles are relaxed, and your fear is gone. Now, it's time to welcome intimacy. This step is all about helping you reconnect to desire and experience pleasure — not just tolerable sex, but passionate, intimate, BUTTERY, and pain free sex! We give you techniques to transition from dilation to partnered intimacy so it feels natural, exciting, and safe.

These 5 steps have helped hundreds of women reclaim their sex lives with our 1:1 virtual coaching program for vaginismus. Even if you have tried pelvic floor therapy for vaginismus, in-person, we know this 5 step framework can still help you!

🌟 Want to dive deeper into each step and see how it works in real life?

Watch my free webinar HERE — The 5 Step Process to Pain-Free Sex — and discover the proven & remote roadmap to vaginismus treatment that actually works!

Because your sex life doesn't have to end in pain. It can start with freedom.